Tired and depressed

Woke up this morning...well, can't really say that I'm awake, I'm just so tired...I want to go back home to bed and have a good ol' cry in bed. I constantly have the urge to tear up.

I had applied for the district managers position for East Scotland with SW and already had a chat with one of the managers last week. All seemed well, and I was encouraged to apply, so I did. I was very very exited about this position, because I don't think there is anything better than to work for a company that you truly believe in. Anyway, got a reply that my application would be forwarded for shortlisting last week. However, yesterday I came home from work and had a letter from SW....the usual bog standard.....sorry, you were unsuccessful.

I could have cried....well, actually I did. I really wanted this job. I'm soooo annoyed. I really thought I stood a chance....but I didn't even make it to a face to face interview. This really sucks.

Needless to say I really wanted to have a good old comfort eating session, but luckily I didn't. Had my soup as planned and then went to the gym. My morning weight was no were close to where I want it to be, 15st 10 1/2lb to be exact, but heyho, nothing I can do about it. Will go to the gym after work today and hopefully can keep it at that for tonights weigh-in. Having a fruity brekkie and brought leftover soup for lunch.

In hiding

I haven't posted in a week....I just couldn't face it....I can hardly face myself at the moment. I feel so lazy and unmotivated. I don't even know why. Haven't been to the gym in a week! I've sticked to the plan mostly, but had some slipups....tomorrow is weigh-in day. Yesterday my AM weight was 15st 9lb....today 15st 11 1/2lb....and to be honest, I have no idea why. I've been on plan 100% yesterday and yet I've gained. I'm clueless. I don't want to have another gain tomorrow...I couldn't face it.

So tonight I'll go to the gym, even if it kills me. The plan is to make tomato soup for dinner. And I'll defo stick to that as well. No naughtyness in the house, so hopefully hopefully the scale is tipping towards the 15st 9lb again tomorrow morning.

Day two

AM weight: I forgot!

Well, yesterday went rather well. Got home from work, made my cheesy pasta and stayed away from the treats. Did go to Body Combat at night, but didn't manage to go to the gym beforehand. Oh well, better something than nothing.

Had my fruity breakfast and Batchelors Supernoodles for lunch. Also made some potoatosalad last night, which I'm nibbling on throughout the day. Dinner tonight will be either leftovers of the salad or cheesy pasta again.

Plan is to go to the gym tonight, lets see if I succeed.

WTF is wrong with me????

AM weight: 15st 10 1/4lb

Well, after hitting my weight at 15st 11lb yesterday, I've decided it's enough. How can I gain all this weight again? I'm so annoyed with myself. So from today on, I'll change my strategy.

I will have my normal fruity breakfast as usual, but if I get peckish, I'll have some Ryvita with Laughing Cow Cheese as a mid morning snack. Today, this worked fine, no crazy hungerpangs mid morning. For lunch I had Batchelor Super Noodles. Dinner I have planned is Cheesy Pasta (2 HEA choices). And definetely will go to the gym tonight. I know it's rotten outside and it will be a challenge, but I just need to drag my fat bum out!

Fat Cow

AM weight: 15st 7 3/4lb




Thats what I feel like.....my weigh-in last night was shocking...15st 11lb....thats another 1/2lb on....I could cry. But its's my own fault really.....didn't go to the gym yesterday.

I have no motivation, just got myself a portion of chips.....I give up, I really do!

Weigh-in day

AM weight: 15st 7 3/4lb

Today is weigh-in day. I managed not to bring my money to work today, so the vending machine and a chilli burger will not lead me into temptation. Had a fruity breakfast and porridge with apple and cinnamon for my lunch. So far so good. Got two apples left for later on if I feel peckish again. Planning on going to the gym after work, hopefully this will help me getting something off....I can't deal with another gain. But only have myself to blame really. It's crazy how much I've lost track of things. I should be ashamed of myself. But the problem is, I've been doing it for so long....and it gets tough. Maybe one day I'll get my willpower back.

On a lighter note, I've sent an email regarding the district managers position for SW. Had an email back that she would really like to speak to me and asking for my number.....that was yesterday. No call as of yet. Oh this would be an exiting opportunity. Working for the company that helped me lose so much weight. Working for something that I'm proud of and believe in.

I shall post my weigh-in results later (and if I actually went to the gym lol).

Sooo tired

AM weight: 15st 7 1/2lb
PM weight pre dinner: 15st 7 3/4lb (huh)

Gosh, I'm tired, I don't even know why. Just sitting here on the couch (when I really should be in the gym), and can hardly keep my eyes open.

Been a busy day at work, but nothing out of the ordinary. Had my usual brekkie and then a baked potato with the last bits of Ragu for lunch. Wanted to make soup for dinner, but opted for cheesy pasta instead....yummm. Too tired to go to the gym, been to Body Combat and Zumba last night, just cannae hack it tonight. So chillout time and hopefully I have enough energy after work tomorrow to do some serious cardio.

I'm a happy bunny!!!

AM weight: 15st 6 3/4lb
PM weight pre dinner/gym: 15st 10lb
PM weigh post dinner/gym: 15st 9lb

Oh I'm a happy bunny. Just ordered my tickets for Bon Jovi next year. I'm soooooooooo exited! And they are great seats too:

Oh I can't wait....roll on 22nd of June 2011!!!!

Well, yesterday was not quiet as relaxed as I thought. Chilled out most afternoon, watching some movies, waiting for shopping to arrive...only problem there, it didn't arrive. So I called Asda and apparently there were some delays and I would be called back by the store. Yeh, at 6pm they finally called, after I actually made dinner, to inform me that they can't get it out till Tuesday as they had a system failure. Grand! Just told them to cancel it. So we had to get dressed and go to Tesco.

Anyway, today is a new day, a fresh start to the week, and hopefully to me being on track a bit more. So far I have managed to stay away from the vending machine. Had my fruity brekkie, am nibbling on grapes and have a baked potato with leftover Ragu from yesterday for my lunch.